Deliberate Thought IS Action

In a discussion with my daughter, we were talking about the state of our communities, country, and world we live in, and she made a statement to me.  I was explaining to her that the reason we are where we are in the world as a society, and the reason anybody is where they are, is that we have focused our attention too greatly on what we don’t want and on desires that are not our truest, as mentioned last week in What Do you Want???  We have exerted most, if not all, of our nonphysical energy towards that which is unwanted.  And because this is an attraction-based Universe, more of the unwanted is forever showing itself.  My daughter said, “so you’re saying everybody should think more about what they want and that’s going to solve the issues. What about taking action?”

My response to her was, “anytime you choose to focus your thoughts and attention on a subject, whether it be in the positive or negative direction on that subject- YOU ARE TAKING ACTION.  Deliberate thought IS action.

It is not so much how the world is, but how you THINK the world is.

The Master once asked his disciples which was more important: wisdom or action.  The disciples were unanimous: “Action, of course. Of what use is wisdom that does not show itself in action?”  The Master said: “And of what use is action that proceeds from an unenlightened heart?”

It’s not about simply taking action.  It’s about taking mindful, inspired action that only derives from deliberate thought and deliberate thinking, that is aligned with your highest purpose. Some of us believe that any action is good action- not so.  Action misaligned, action that is not purpose-driven, results in unfulfilled hopes and wishes.  This is why we keep having the same problems and coming up with seemingly new solutions, only to fall back into the same issues we’ve always had.  Your thoughts are so much more impactful than your physical action.

When you have a problem and you focus your deliberate thoughts on a solution that aligns with your inner being, you have set yourself up for all the unseen forces of the Universe to assist in achieving that solution.  When you take action from that place of positive pure energy, from a place of positive alignment with your Creator, you will achieve your solution and other outcomes not yet realized.  Because from this place, the solution is not based on an outcome of someone else changing their behavior.  From this place the solution is based on outcomes that produce harmonious interaction between you and your inner being, which has the greatest cumulative effect to exponentially deliver on that which you truly desire.

How do you know that your action is coming from a place of alignment?  It is non-emotional.  You take action that is not based on anger, fear, resentment, hate, disdain, etc.  You take action based on love, inspiration, compassion, honor, joy, etc.  You take action from the place that best connects with your inner being.  How do you know?  Because it feels good.  The deliberate thought feels good, and the aligned action feels even better.  Just think about this for a second.  When you think about what you don’t want, it doesn’t feel good.  Likewise when you hold your truest desires in your thoughts of what you want, it feels great!  It feels great because that’s the same place where your inner being dwells, from that higher consciousness of love.

When you’re presented with an issue, you have thoughts about the issue, and your inner being has thoughts about that same issue.  If you are not in alignment with your inner being on the subject, your emotions will indicate it to you right away and let you know you’re out of alignment.  DO NOT TAKE ACTION!   Take the time to align yourself with the thoughts of your inner being, again your emotions will let you know when you’re there by how you feel.  Then TAKE ACTION!

Deliberate thinking involves intentionally choosing thoughts that are high in vibrational frequency; thoughts that elevate you energetically, and empower and inspire you.  It involves bringing your whole self into the present moment, engaging with life as it unfolds and realizing, as it unfolds, you have the innate power of influence to make profound changes.


What Do You Want???

 Can you readily answer that for me? I asked several friends of mine this question this past week…”what do you want?” What I heard was the equivalent to putting ‘band-aids on bullet wounds.’ It might help stop the bleeding, but the injury is far from healed. “I want a million dollars! I want a big house! I want money to spend endlessly. I want a good job. I want a husband to make me happy. I want the President impeached! I want the Democrats to stop whining! I want the freshest clothes. I want an Xbox ONE (my kids).” I want! I want! I want!

So I rephrased the question. “Minus anything materialistic, or without involving another person, what do you want?” The answers changed to “peace, happiness, joy, civility for humankind.” One person said, “I want God to continue to order my steps. I want to live a purposeful life where my gifts can help as many people as possible.” I heard, “peace of mind” as what someone covets most. Another person said “I want more time.” So I asked a couple of people, “why is it you tell me what you desire most is peace, love and happiness, now, but when I first asked you, the response was more around something material…like a million dollars?” There’s no judgment here, because I’m sure MANY of us have those same answers. But it brings to question, if your first answer to the question is suggestive of something material, are we focused on the ‘wrong’ things, thus NOT attracting our truest desires?

We all know the old saying, “money can’t buy happiness,” but we still want to try it out to see if it’s true or not. LOL. We focus on getting more and more…things. Things have expiration dates. The opposites of material things are long-lasting and forever. The non-tangibles of life that are the foundation of desire; Love, Peace, Joy, Happiness, Compassion, Grace. Fundamentally, most of us would love to have these types of feelings and emotions on a consistent basis. Yet our focus tends to surround thoughts of how to get and gain more material. “How can I work harder to afford the car I want? Once we get that big house, we’re going to be SO happy! If I had a hundred thousand dollars I’d be STRAIGHT!” Yeah…maybe those things are true. But what we focus on expands. And when we are thinking from a space of lack…the ‘lack’ continues to grow.

When we think like, “man! I’d be so happy if I had a hundred grand,” we are basically saying to the Universe, “what I currently have is not enough.” You are setting a path in motion that, supported by your thought and emotion says, “I don’t have enough.” And the Universe is not going to respond with “Oh! he/she doesn’t have enough so let me provide more.” This is the irony of our thought, energy, expectation and focus. The Universe is going to ALIGN with YOUR thought process, energetic vibration, and deliver on your expectation based on your focus. The same goes for EVERYTHING you are thinking, feeling, expecting or focusing on. For example, in our country right now, I hear a lot of people from these imaginary opposite sides, full of emotion about what it is they DON’T want. “I don’t want illegals coming into our country! I don’t want Republicans in office! I don’t want another mass shooting! I want police brutality and murder to stop!” All of this is being said and felt on a very high emotional level and the Universe is looking to align directly with your emotional thought process because of the emotive, vibratory marker that is being sent.

Framing your thoughts to align with your authentic desire simply takes an inverse of the way you’ve been used to thinking, speaking and feeling. For example, I asked my friend, “why do you want a million dollars?” And he said, “because that money would give me more freedom to do what I want.” (band-aid on a bullet wound) I said, “so what you REALLY want is more freedom. And you feel that a million dollars is the means to grant you that freedom.” He agreed. So I offered, “don’t express that you want a million dollars. The better and more aligned communication is to say ‘you desire more freedom.'” Freedom is the intangible. Freedom then becomes a state of mind. The “how” you gain that freedom is then left open to Universal interpretation and the Universe is conspiring to deliver exactly what you desire without boundary or limit.

Another friend told me she “wants Trump out of office!” I said, “okay…why?” She proceeded to share her thoughts about his perceived “hatred and bigotry and his love for perpetuating chaos.” So I offered, “it sounds to me that what you TRULY want is a place with less or no hatred and bigotry without the chaos and a better sense of calm and tolerance for humanity.” She responded, “YES!!! EXACTLY!!!” I laughed and asked her, “well why did you not simply focus on THAT instead of the person who you think is causing all of these things? Because your focus and energy says you would like to attract more of what is currently bugging you into your experience.”

One of the main challenges in our lives is, we are determined to “fix it” or to “make it happen” or to “hustle it up.” This is NOT manifesting desire. That is not how desire is manifested. Desire is manifested, not from the physical aspect, but from the spiritual. It’s not our job to figure out the HOW all the time and “fix it.” That’s not our job. Our job is to express our true and authentic desire. Maintain the focus of that desire. Manage your expectations staying steadfast. Envisioning how your true desire feels, what it looks like, feeling the emotion of that desire being manifested and living within that manifestation. THESE are the ways thoughts become things because the Universe is always aligning with the thoughts, desires, emotions, expectations and focus YOU are emitting. This isn’t about “happy thoughts.” This is about DELIBERATE THOUGHT. Your desire is the catalyst to creation. Deliberate thought is the vehicle to manifestation. So do not spend time and energy on those things you don’t want. Instead, spend time, energy, emotion, focus and expectation on those things you DO want in order for them to become your reality. You will know you’re on the right track when other things, people, circumstances and situations begin to cross your path and you think of them as coincidence. Just know…there is no coincidence. Only purpose. Purpose that aligns with what you are attracting into your life experience.

Create Your Blessings

“Only thing I can attribute it to is God.”  This is a quote from Brendan Kelly during an interview he had after he survived being in his second mass shooting.  He was involved in the Las Vegas shooting that happened last year and survived and now has just recently survived the Thousand Oaks shooting two weeks ago. Amazing!  Stroke of luck?  Blessed?  Or a lot of both?

Certainly, if you subscribe yourself as a believer in God, then you would say that Kelly was blessed by all spiritual standards, as he himself spoke of attributing his survival to God.  Some would definitely say it was through God’s grace and mercy that he was not killed like many others that were in the same place right at that same time.   Does this mean the others who died were not blessed?  And what made God spare Kelly’s life?  Is it the fact that he is such a great human being in God’s eyes that he was saved?  How/why did he experience such “favor”?  Or is he simply an extremely lucky individual?

ser·en·dip·i·ty/ˌserənˈdipədē/  noun

noun: serendipity; plural noun: serendipities

  1. the occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way.

“a fortunate stroke of serendipity”

bless·ing; /ˈblesiNG/


noun: blessing; plural noun: blessings

  1. God’s favor and protection.

Throughout the years, I, like many others, tended to discount terms like luck, chance, coincidence, or serendipity as blasphemous or un-Godlike, as if the Source of all creation can’t provide you with a stroke of luck or tremendous great fortune.  Luck and chance are just as much part of God as anything else.  There’s no part of creation that the Source of everything is not a part of.

Two teams playing for the championship ball game ‘praying’ for the same outcome, with tremendous fervor.  The ball bounces off the rim, off the back board 3 times, then drops through the hoop for the buzzer beater winning score.  Or the kicker kicks the football, it hits the upright, and bangs through for the winning point in a double overtime game.  Was this a blessing, luck, chance occurrence, or fluke?   If you asked the fans and the team that won the game, that prayed for victory, they would say they were blessed.

Of course none of these scenarios are a matter of life or death, and I think that we could all agree that God cares not about the outcomes of any ball games or wars either for that matter.  However, when it comes to more serious matters, particularly someone escaping a death situation, we tend to certainly call these “blessings”.  He survived cancer, he’s so blessed.  Her surgery was a success, God blessed her.   This is because as a society we see death and dying as something of tragic end, especially if it appears to have happened prematurely.  So, Brendan Kelly’s situation was blessing, while Lebron James just hit the lucky shot.  Or maybe he too was blessed to receive such luck?

“Tragic death,” as we see it, is tragic because of the “how” when it happens. It’s not as “tragic” when it’s a person who passes away from “natural causes” at the age of 100 years. But we certainly see the tragedy when there is a child shot down in a mass shooting at the age of 7. And as heinous, as criminal, as tragic as this looks and feels…it is certainly a part of an overall order of things. That doesn’t mean we skip along in happiness and chalk it up to “it’s just something that happened.” But what it means is, we can put “tragedy” into context, knowing all things happen on purpose and as they are supposed to. THIS is having all faith and peace with God. THIS is having the understanding of why things happen the way they do. And at the same time, God has empowered us to create blessings when we have this type of understanding. Empowered us to create blessings through our alignment, through our faith and through our expectation.

We tend to put our good fortune into the hands of a fickle fate.  Meaning we feel blessed and special when things go well and cursed and forgotten when things go wrong.  When things don’t go the way you want them to, whether large or small, we don’t say that we weren’t blessed.  Unfortunate maybe, or too bad, so sad etc.  But God, the source of all things, is in it all.  Source is a part of the all in all- misfortunes, chances, serendipity, blessings.  Source is at the center of all of it.  And through our own vibrational output, we can increase and/or decrease the “chances” of having huge misfortunes, or tremendous blessings.  And oftentimes what we see as “bad”, God doesn’t see it like that at all.  Life is happening, cycles are taking place, all the time.  New life comes in, while existing life transcends, and everything in the middle is also part of the cycle.

Aligned Blessings

The Universe works in Divine order governed by certain laws and principles.  When we act in accordance with the laws and principles, we receive the benefit of attracting what we desire into our lives (blessings).  When we act out of accordance with the laws and principles we attract things that we don’t desire into our lives

When you are aligned with vibrations that support your highest self, then you manifest your highest and best outcomes in many forms – which can look a little like something outside of yourself bestowing something of good upon you.

You’ve heard us talk much about being in vibrational alignment with your inner being.  This alignment creates the greatest amount of leverage for you to receive blessings, luck, or whatever you wish to call it.  When you’re in alignment with the highest part of yourself, you set yourself up to coincide, through attraction, with the highest part of the Universe.  Coincidences are merely two things coinciding at once, appearing to have no connection.  There is nothing inherently wrong with a coincidence, and coincidences do not discount God and/or reason.  And when you are functioning at your highest vibrational alignment there are bound to be tons of “coincidences” occurring all around you, all the time- FAVOR!  Your highest and most continuous favor comes from your own energy vibrational alignment, and willingness to care about how you feel, whereas to attract more things to feel good about.

So does blessing and luck have anything to do with each other? Not if we think that luck has nothing to do with God. But if we see God, the Source of all, as a giver of luck or blessings, then the two can be closely related.

Why was Brendan Kelly witness and a part of two mass shootings yet lived to tell the tale of them both? Luck? Favor? Bredan’s expectation? Who knows! But the fact is, he lived and witnessed others “die.” We never know how those situations and circumstances that surround those acts have and will affect others around him, the people he has and will touch, influence, direct, etc. The same goes for those who did not survive. Their lives, while they lived and those affected in their death alters and creates something new. We will never know all of the thousands even millions of new outcomes that have been created by what has transpired. But it all facilitates growth and expansion. It is ALL part of a larger Universal symphony, operating in order although we perceive it as chaos.



What’s the Silver Bullet???

  Someone recently asked me, “how is it that you remain so positive and upbeat all the time??? Especially with all the crazy stuff happening in the world and our country?” I told them, “there is no secret sauce or magic pixie dust or silver bullet. Many times, I am ACTIVELY engaged with myself in an effort to maintain my alignment. THAT’S where the sauce, dust and bullet reside. Within me! And MY desire to create and control my reality.” And that is all truth. Living deliberately is another way to put it. I wake up with a desire to deliberately have a great day. EVERY day. That is my intention. That is my focus. That is my desire. I make it known to the Universe when I get out of bed. And throughout the day, as things come up, as they do, I work to remain AWARE of what I decided when I woke up. But there is certainly more to it than that.

My friend says to me, “but shit happens.” Well…yeah…stuff DOES happen. The trick is understanding our positive intentions are not going to necessarily stop “shit” from happening. It’s what we choose to DO with the “shit” that determines if we maintain our alignment or not. It’s not about stopping things from happening that we perceive as “bad” in our lives. But it’s about navigating our emotions, our desires and intentions through the things that are happening around us so we maintain our emotional power and don’t become overpowered by the situation around us. And that decision of a situation having “power” over us is determined by us as individuals.

So my friend asks, “but aren’t you affected by stuff? Don’t you get upset about things? Aren’t you angry about this or that?” And my response is, “well, yeah. I’m human. But I’m a spiritual being FIRST. Therefore, I understand that any and everything outside of my spiritual existence is temporal. It’s not going to last forever. Not even a little bit.” While I am affected by things that are seemingly sporadic, chaotic, unintentional, etc. I continue to learn how to put those things into perspective and in context. When we can adjust our perspective and create context, we have gained spiritual control over that thing whatever the situation.

My friend, “but you can’t tell me you’ve got all this stuff figured out and it simply rolls off your back because you have given it ‘context’ and therefore you’re not affected. I’ve seen you angry, depressed, upset, etc. so are you being hypocritical? Or you just living in some fantasy land with what you’re saying?” Not at all. We all have plans, desires, objectives, goals and the like. That doesn’t mean you don’t get knocked off track by life from time to time. But the major thing to remember is…THIS IS ALL TEMPORAL. So there is no need to over react to anything. Ever. So I told my friend, “oh yes, I get angry, depressed, upset and all of that. But my key is being AWARE. Being aware of what I feel. Which most of us are acutely aware of what we are feeling when we are feeling it. But awareness is more than that. Awareness is understanding WHY you feel that way. And not just the ‘why’ of “because my husband made me mad! and that’s why I feel the way I do.” But deeper than that. Ask yourself why, over and over again until you get to the root of your emotion. This is a tough exercise, trust me. The next time you are angry, upset or experience any other emotion other than what you want to feel…ask yourself ‘why’ at least five times. Most situations won’t allow you to get past 3 why’s. But once you are at the root of why your emotion is what it is…you have put it into context. Once you have context, you can pivot your emotion to the next level emotion of what you TRULY desire to feel.

I explained this to my friend and he was a bit confused so I told him more plainly. I told him, “when you are angry. Ask yourself, why? My wife made me angry. Why? Because she spoke to me the wrong way. Why? Because she thought things should go a different way. Why? Probably because we weren’t clear with each other. Why? Well, maybe because I wanted it one way or perhaps because I only heard what I wanted to hear. Okay. So now, you have context and can choose which way you want to go from here. OR you can stay angry. What emotion do you DESIRE to feel now that you’ve gotten to the root of your emotion?” My friend understood at that point. This is what being ACTIVELY engaged with yourself to maintain your alignment means.

“But what about those things that are out of your control when they happen that don’t have anything to do with another person per se?” In these cases, I explained, “it is still important to understand the root of your emotion. Especially if you desire to manifest a new emotion. Once you’ve identified what you truly feel then you have put your emotion into context. Once you have context, you have power. Without context, our emotions can run rampant because they are unbridled. Context puts the bridle on the emotion and allows you to steer them whichever way you want them to go.

But, it is still understood it’s difficult for us to go from angry to extreme joy. This is an exercise. That exercise is deciding what the next level up is from anger for you. Is it melancholy? Is it discontent? Is it irritation? Whatever the next level up emotion is for you, choose THAT in your moment of emotional clarity once you’ve identified the root. “How do you do that?” Once the emotion is in context, identify what you are grateful for in the midst of the situation. NO MATTER the situation! What is at least ONE thing you are grateful for in that situation? This will move you from where you currently stand emotionally to the next level up. So you go from angry to discontent. Then you go from discontent to indifferent. Then you go from indifferent to content. Then you go from content to happy. Then you go from happy to joyous. And your joyousness becomes contagious and begins to affect your reality and the people around you in positive ways to the point where they ask you, “how is it that you remain so positive and upbeat all the time??? Especially with all the crazy stuff happening in the world and our country?”

It takes time and active engagement with yourself. Be aware of what is happening. Be aware of your emotion and why you feel what you do. As you continue to grow, your awareness will also grow so you can head off the negative feelings at the pass before they go too far. Don’t expect the same old outcomes. We have the power to create new and unexpected outcomes. Unexpected from the people around you. Deliberately created BY you.


Keeping THE Commitment

We live in a society full of commitments.  We make commitments to our careers, to our loved ones, our children, commitments to losing weight, eliminating bad habits, etc.  Our lives are full to the rim with commitments.  Today we’d like to briefly discuss how to honor THE most important commitment, and when/how to break a commitment when it no longer serves your purpose.

For the purpose here, we will use promise/agreement/commitment all interchangeably.

Most of us were imprinted at birth that we are always to keep our commitments, no matter what.  I am very big on keeping commitments and have taken it very personal when someone broke their commitment to me, when I’ve broken a promise to another, or when I’ve not maintained my own agreement made to myself.

Without providing a specific definition to the word, we can agree that commitment usually means a dedication of yourself to something or someone.  A commitment is a promise to do something or not to do something.  But what happens when the promise you made no longer agrees with who you are as person?  What do you do when a commitment you made no longer feels right?  No longer aligns with your spirit. No longer fits with who you are?

For many this is a touchy subject.  Because again, it has been so ingrained in us as a society that we must keep our word at all costs- no matter what.   But you when you begin to evolve and start paying more attention to your own inner guidance and start listening more to your higher self, you realize that sometimes, maybe more often than not, the best thing to do is break the  commitment.

We’ll just make the statement outright here and now, THE most important commitment you can keep is your commitment to yourself.  And likewise, THE most detrimental commitment you can break is also your commitment to you. Now when we say commitment to yourself, we do not mean in a selfish/egotistical type of way (although we are proponents of selfishness).  We mean commitment to your inner being, who always knows what’s best for you, commitment to your own alignment and keeping promises that align with your “who” and what you are as a person, as an evolving, ever-changing human being.

If you are a person who spends time on personal and spiritual growth and development, you know, like I do, that sometimes we outgrow old commitments.  We reach points where it’s clear that the original promise or agreement no longer makes sense.  So, what most of us do is we try to subvert the NEW awareness and keep on with the “commitment” that we made.  How tragic is this- to be spiritually and vibrationally connected, come to new awareness based on new wants and desires, but be bound by the fact that you made a commitment, and God forbid you want to do something else!  So instead of pursuing the new course that feels the best, and most aligned with the new you, we simply stay the course we’re on for promise sake.

There are some questions to ask yourself when contemplating breaking a commitment that no longer serves you:

Why did you commit in the first place?  Ask yourself why you made this commitment.  Was it out of fear?  Misguided loyalty?  Were you trying to please someone else? (which occurs most of the time)  But most importantly- Is this commitment in alignment with who I am and what I want now?  If the answer is yes, then it’s simply a matter of recommitting and refocusing all energy in the direction of the commitment.  If the answer is no, it might be time to reconsider the commitment, keeping in mind that you do yourself and others the greatest disservice ever by keeping a commitment that no longer lines up with who you are. Because then you are not able to truly give your true, authentic self and will always be in a state of discontent, knowing innately this is not the right course.

Of course, there are times where there’s a lot at stake.  Sometimes credibility and reliability become questionable.  Breaking a commitment to take out the garage is not nearly as consequential to breaking a commitment made to your boss, husband, friend, or children.  It takes a tremendous amount of courage and self-awareness to know when it’s time to make a change and make it.  No one wants to involve themselves with a person who’s liable to break their commitment. But I think it’s more important to always stay truest to yourself, not as a cop out to simply do whatever you want to do whenever you want to do it. But rather a sincere awareness of self and what’s the best decision for YOU that keeps you in alignment with your inner-being.




What’s In the Power of Loving Yourself?

  There is so much power in loving yourself. But for whatever reasons, sometimes we veer away from this space. Perhaps we’ve been taught to put others first. Or that loving yourself is selfish. And that’s exactly right! Loving yourself IS selfish! It’s the best kind of selfish and we should be as selfish as possible! Because loving yourself…selfishly…creates an understanding of how to love others unconditionally.

I know a man who struggles with infidelity. He says he’s “happy” with his current relationship. But he still strays quite often. So I asked him one day, completely without judgment in mind, “hey man, why do you do that? What makes you go out, talk to women and then try to sleep with them when you already have a woman who is dedicated to you?” The answers he gave me were things like, “because she doesn’t do what I want her to do at home. She doesn’t make me laugh any more. She doesn’t romance me like she used to. She doesn’t give me the attention I want or deserve.” When he was done, I told him how many times he’d used the word “she.” I said to him, “when I asked YOU why YOU do what YOU do, you offered me several things on what SHE does or doesn’t do. So do you think the issue is really with HER? Or with YOU?” My friend did not readily accept what I was suggesting which was the “problem” is not with her…but with him. (we use parenthesis with “problem” because there is no real problem, only perception and what we choose to do with it) But the point is, the underlying challenge is not with the other person…it is with his lack of true and authentic love for himself. It is no one else’s job to make YOU happy. That job lies strictly from within.

When I was in the 6th grade there was a bully in my class. I won’t call his name because I still know him and we’re connected on social media. I won’t call his name, not because I am afraid of this “bully” lol…but because I am compassionate. He would terrorize me daily. He as an instigator. He was much bigger than I was and I was honestly not confident with who I was at the time. I dreaded seeing him at lunch or at recess because I knew he found pleasure in harassing me. He would push me or look to embarrass me in front of groups of people. But if it were he and I alone, he’d want to be like normal friends. What I understand now…while he was looking to hurt ME…it was HIM that was the one hurting.

I know another lady who constantly lives with self-doubt. She does well at her job, her coworkers seem to like her well enough and she holds a mid-level executive position. However, she is constantly touting who she is, what she can do, how smart she is, what she’s accomplished, etc. to anyone who will listen. She comes off as narcissistic, egotistical and self-absorbed. So I asked her, “why do you constantly feel the need to basically share your entire resume with people when you meet them? Why do you feel the need to talk about yourself and your accomplishments constantly?” And she responded with “because you constantly have to sell yourself so people know your worth!” At that moment, my heart went out to her.

So here is where we want to demonstrate What’s In the Power of Loving Yourself.  First off, it’s okay. It’s okay to love yourself. To truly…love YOU. It’s okay to take care of YOU, pamper YOU, to treat YOU with gentleness, kindness, compassion, acceptance, love…it is okay. It’s okay to put yourself first. It’s okay to stop…and think about what YOU want out of any given situation or circumstance and act accordingly. It. Is. Okay. It’s okay to shield yourself from outside negativity that comes to you in the form of a friend or family member. You are not OBLIGATED simply because you are in those relationships to be an empath for negativity. It’s okay to NOT be that person, in the name of protecting YOU. It’s okay. This doesn’t mean you cut people off with a “talk-to-the-hand” mentality. It simply means it’s okay to protect yourself from feelings, emotions, situations and circumstances that do not align with YOUR happiness. Is that being selfish? YES! And it’s OKAY to be selfish!

When we love ourselves, unconditionally, our first minds are to treat our bodies, our minds and our souls as we would an infant child. If you have had an infant child or been around one, we are gentle. We are loving. We are careful. We watch what we say, we check our tone, we open ourselves up to love, compassion and grace. THIS is the way we should treat ourselves. Gently. Without judgment. In compassion. With love. We should love ourselves and protect ourselves from what may harm us, not only physically, but mentally and spiritually as well. In the first example of my friend who is a womanizer, (hate giving people labels but this is for context), he does not fully love HIMSELF. Ladies…THAT’S why men cheat, fyi.

There is a part of him that is not being attended to that causes him to cheat. NOT the part he thinks should be attended to by his mate. But the part not being attended to by and for himself. When we (men AND women) love OURSELVES to the core of our true being…we learn how to appreciate and love a woman at the core of HER being and not just the surface of her body.

When it comes to my bully “friend,” there was and probably still is a part of him that is not being attended to. He was looking for acceptance. He was looking for acceptance because he didn’t accept HIMSELF for who he was. He didn’t like himself. He was levying judgment against himself for not being enough. Therefore, he looked to gain acceptance from others by portraying some tough, bully-like persona. When we accept OURSELVES, without judgment, with love, with compassion, with grace…we find true acceptance within ourselves and it doesn’t matter what others think about us.

Regarding my narcissistic friend, she too feels inadequate. She feels less than. And that’s why she makes it a point to broadcast her accomplishments to “justify her value” to people who, in the bigger scheme of life, don’t even matter. Our journey  is dictated by what we desire, intend and expect. Not by other peoples’ perceptions of the facade we create. She is missing the simple acceptance of who she is while also not loving herself to know that she is enough…just as she is.

When we truly and honestly love ourselves to the core of our being, we accept who we are. We love who we are. We take good care of who we are. Be gentle with yourself, the same as you would with an infant child. You wouldn’t levy judgment against a baby. You wouldn’t speak harshly or berate them. Instead, we are compassionate, loving, caring and affectionate with them. Be THAT same person with yourself. Protect yourself. Keep yourself out of harm’s way. Be concerned about what you read, what you watch and who you surround yourself with. Be gentle with yourself and stop punishing yourself for things you’ve done or decisions you’ve made. Love you for ALL of you. Unconditionally.  With FULL acceptance. And then you will love others in the same way.

Expect the Best!

And only the best!!

How many of us try to live by this philosophy?  I remember a short time ago, my motto was, “Hope for the best, but plan for the worst.”  Which obviously meant I was expecting the worst. This was based on conventional thinking that said, “whatever can go wrong, will go wrong.”

There are different schools of thought regarding expectation.  Some say, we should let go of expectations and enjoy the journey with no real attachments or assumptions as to the outcome.  While others say, we should expect exactly what it is we want and look for nothing less.

The fact of the matter is, you DO have expectations- all day every day.  You simply can not get around that.  You expect the sun to shine, you expect to have fresh running water, you expect good transportation, you expect your local store to stock an abundance of food. You’ve come to expect certain behaviors from others like your children, spouses, bosses, etc.  You have expectations all-the-time. You’ve come to expect things mainly because you’ve always had them.  But how can you expect something that you haven’t seen the evidence of?  Or more so, how can you expect something that you actually have seen evidence of its opposite?  We are here to discuss ways to channel your expectations.  Redesign them if you will, to create greater leverage towards empowerment.

It’s a very peculiar thing when you think about it. Because the way it works is that you have a primary thought and belief about something, and the Universe provides you evidence to support that thought/belief.  So then you think, as it appears to be true, that you had the experience first which led you to believe a certain thing, which obviously led to you having certain expectations around that thing.  But in reality you created the experience through your thoughts. Emotions, beliefs, and expectations.  The Universe simply echoed that which you projected externally.  But what we want to share with you is how to positively expect the unseen.  How to expect that, which in its immediate observation, is something different than what you want, by focusing the power to project positive expectations towards what it is that you DO want- AND GET IT!  We want to share with you how to change your expectations to positively effect everything around you and everything you come in contact with.

So how does it work?

Expectations come from the context of what’s being observed, previous experiences and mostly what has happened recently and repetitively.  When a decision is made as to which expected event is chosen, we tend to “see” things literally, based on our expectation. This is part of the equation of how it is you go about creating your own realty and how it is we turn thoughts into things.  Your expectation colors and shapes your reality.  What you expect to see, is what you generally tend to see.  Some will say, “No, I didn’t have an expectation of anything, and this bad thing just happened.”  Well, we know that is not how it works from a Universal Law perspective.

If you have spent any time at all following Align To Enlighten, then you know that it is your thoughts and accompanying emotions that contain manifesting power. This is because that’s all the Universe can hear, it doesn’t hear your words or speak our vocal language – but rather interprets the vibration that comes from your thoughts and emotions AND your intention and expectation.

So here’s how to use expectation for your greater good and to change your own reality towards desired things you want.

  1. Understand what expectation is. That it is more than words.  Expectation is indeed a force, just like belief, just like intention.  As matter of fact, they all go hand and hand. And in understanding first and foremost that expectation is a force, always in action, whether you use it deliberately or not, always available whether you choose to consciously use it or not, you can now CHOOSE to exercise deliberate intention to use expectation to your advantage.
  2. Understand that you can’t cheat expectation. In other words, you can’t fake like you’re expecting something that you’re really not.  Expectation is directly tied to your belief.  You can not expect other than what you believe to be true, usually.  So you can’t really “fake it til you make it”, in regards to expectation.  Your expectation has to come from a place of truth and complete authenticity.
  3. Start today choosing to expect the best in every situation. This requires a shift in paradigm.  Because as previously stated you can’t just start expecting something you don’t believe to be true.  Start simply by training your mind onto good thoughts by developing a strong focus, awareness, and thinking about things that make you happy and that make you smile when you think of them. Don’t give your attention to anything unwanted. If you catch yourself thinking a thought unwanted, simply shake your head and let the thought dissipate or say out loud ‘switch’ or what I like to use, ‘chill’ to signify a mental change is required. Keep saying things like, “I know this is going to work out for the best,” or “I know I will turn this situation to my advantage somehow,” or “I expect the best and the best always comes to me!
  4. Avoid negative talk like the plague (BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY). By “negative talk” we mean complaining, arguing, being miserable or feeling fearful and powerless – anything that drags down your emotions and contradicts your positive expectations. Limit the amount of time you spend with negative people as much as people. (We are assuming that you are not one of those people yourself lol).  Some people are easy to complain with than others, do your best to avoid conversations with these people and spend more time feeling positive and spending your time with positive people.
  5. KNOW that your expectation will come true. You may wonder how to “know” when you really don’t know yet! If it hasn’t happened yet, how can you be sure it will? This type of knowing is based solely on a generality. It is not so much that you know what you are expecting specifically will happen (although it can and most often will).  It means more a general knowing that the feeling you’re seeking will take place.  That you will feel exactly what you hoped to feel from the expected experience.   Because remember, the only reason you want anything ever, is because of how you think you’re going to feel in having it.  You must CHOOSE to know, that come what may, even if what you expected did not occur specifically, that ALL IS WELL.  And that your general expectation is one of THAT knowing- that all is well, and everything is always working out for my greater good, and that everything is for a greater purpose.   It might take some time to get comfortable with this, but once you do, it becomes a lot easier. In order to really know, you’re going to have to completely banish doubt and disbelief from your mind. When they pop up, simply push them out of your mind (SWITCH), and affirm again that you KNOW your expectation will happen. Expectation of what?  WELL-BEING, joy, satisfaction, No exception!. The only way to master this is through practice.


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