“I’m Not Okay”

  “I’m not okay,” is something I heard from 3 people this past week. “I am not okay.” The words were sincere. The words were searching for help. Help from otherwise educated, independent, sensible black men. “I am not okay.” The words sought answers while tacitly suggesting, “I may do something drastic because I am at my wits end.” I know these words, thoughts and feelings well because they were also my own.

How do you fight a force that blatantly cares not for who you are and dares you to rebel against it? And we question, “what does a peaceful protest or rally do for us?” We did that last time. And the time before that. And what about that one time several years ago? But the overt killing continues. And we’re “hoodlums” after being fed up so we lash out. Then we are criminals and are vilified; we’re animals and savages who are out of control. “When the looting starts the shooting starts” as if that is the answer. It further shows the lack of concern regarding the fundamental issue. So we are to be calm and march peacefully, right? But the 85 other marches, sit-ins, letters to our congress people and peaceful civil protests didn’t help. Evidence being the dozens and dozens of those killed prior and 3 in the past 30 days. So, why are you shocked? Why are you appalled? Probably because you’ve never lived that life. That’s why. So please don’t attempt to disparage the situation if you have no reference to what being disenfranchised as a race feels like. THIS is why my friends say, “I’m not okay.” Because unlike the “hoodlums” you reference who loot, steal and destroy, these people are everyday, law-abiding citizens who also are one thought away from doing something drastic. Transparently, I felt the same way last week. Enraged to the point that I could feel my blood pressure was extremely high. And I don’t have a high blood pressure issue. So, what did I do? This is for ALL of my brothers who can relate to, “I’m not okay.”

I took 6 steps to get myself back into alignment with my true and authentic self. This is/was a process. My prayer is that this will help someone else in need, the same as I was.

  1. Write It Down – I opened the “notes” on my phone and wrote down EVERYTHING I was feeling. No filter. No political correctness. I simply wrote down everything that was screaming in my mind. Get it out of you. Otherwise it festers and grows like a cancer. Write it out! Be raw and uncut. Writing it forces you to focus and allows you to purge the emotion.
  2. Pray for Peace Within – The ONLY thing you control on this planet is yourself and how you WANT to feel. Get quiet. Pray for peace within. If your emotions are raging, praying for peace within sets the intention of where you WANT to be. You can’t control all the other forces in the world. So starting with peace from within will allow you to gain perspective and determine your next course of action with peace as your first step.
  3. Get Out the House – If you’ve read “Protect Your Perceptions” from our book “From Alignment to Enlightenment, The Path to Joy & Peace” (found at Amazon.com or BarnesAndNoble.com – shameless plug) then you know it’s vitally important to protect yourself from what you see, hear and even say because your perceptions influence how you view your current reality. That being said, after I completed the first two steps, I jumped in the car and took a drive with the windows down, sunroof wide open, listening to Frankie Beverly & Maize. I wanted to change my energy and direct it in a different way. Take a walk outside. Pay attention to the natural beauty around you. Be grateful for the beauty you see. Just get out of the house.
  4. Set An Intention for Peace – I walk a path of enlightenment on purpose. Yet, even with that, I was concerned about the tremendous emotion I felt after hearing about the killing of yet another unarmed black man in America. I actively set an intention for peace to align myself. I literally envisioned myself being peaceful with all who would come into my life experience last week. I reminded myself, as I encountered people, that I would be peaceful. No matter what they were saying. So as others called, emailed, texted me full of emotions regarding what is happening in our country, I reminded myself of my intention so I would not be pulled back into the emotion I was looking to regulate. I NEEDED to be okay. Because I wasn’t. And I wasn’t going to let another person knock me off of my peaceful square.
  5. Get Grounded (LITERALLY) – Some people call this “Earthing.” I call it grounding. We are connected to Mother Earth. Yet we don’t acknowledge Her as we should. And just as many mothers, she offers comfort. Especially when we need it. I took off my shoes and socks, sat in my backyard and allowed myself to feel the grass and dirt beneath my feet. Grounding. When there is nothing between your skin and our Earth, you “ground” yourself, literally. Peace comes natural when we ground. You may think it’s corny or crazy. But do it. And recognize how you feel.
  6. Pray Again – Once I was done with steps 1-5, I prayed again. This time I offered nothing but gratitude to God. I gave thanks for the peace I had received. With that acknowledgement and gratitude, I knew I could expect for God to give me more of it. Gratitude is a reciprocal practice. When we are sincerely grateful for something, we can expect more of it. I asked for continued peace within MYSELF.

At this point, I felt comforted. I felt calm. I felt I could move forward now. Clearing the way to become more aligned with your authentic self gives your ideas and creativity open avenues to flow. Out of chaos, creation is born. Now that I am clear, I know exactly what I will do to help create and affect change in this country. I know how I will help empower my community. But there is no way I could have heard that without first clearing a space for it to manifest within me. Many of my brothers are “not okay.” I pray you receive this and that this may be helpful along your journey. Peace.

2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Scott
    Jun 01, 2020 @ 00:01:42




  2. Celeste Jones
    Jun 01, 2020 @ 13:18:56

    “Thank you Gene for that awesome word”!Out of Chaos comes Creative! We have to stay CENTERED in our CREATOR!



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