Finding Your Place of Solace

sol·ace
/ˈsäləs/
noun
  1. comfort or consolation in a time of distress or sadness.
    “she sought solace in her religion”

I often speak with people about meditation. Mainly because meditation is where I find my solace. The responses and dialogues are usually, “I can’t do it. I don’t know how. I WANT to do it but I don’t have time.” But the reality is, meditation is not some elusive, mysterious place that is difficult to do or hard to find. Meditation is simply communing with that authentic part of who you are and is the place where comfort and consolation are the “norm.” If you “can’t do it,” it’s because you are out of balance between your mind, body and soul. And if that is the case, you are the one who should be pursuing it most. If you “don’t know how,” that is easily fixed. There are a number of apps for iPhone and Android that can help. i.e. Calm, Head Space, etc. If you “don’t have the time,” then you are telling me you don’t care about your own peace. And in that instance, we can not help you. Your time is managed by YOU. And if you can’t make the time to take good care of YOU…nobody else will do it for you. But why is any of this important? Why should you even care? “Everything is great in my life!” Right? Perhaps. Or maybe not. But Finding Your Place of Solace is vitally important to your individual cycle of life and pursuit of happiness, joy and peace because it helps to provide balance.

As a child, or for some of us, even as grown ups, can you envision what it feels/felt like to lay in your mother’s arms? To hear her comforting voice. To feel the warmth of her body while she told you everything would be okay? Solace. Peace. Comfort. Or as grown ups, we may find our solace in other things, such as, our comfy beds with lots of pillows and just the right firmness in our mattress. We may find comfort with a bowl of soup or hot cup of tea on a wintry day. We may go to the spa for a massage, a facial a manicure/pedicure and let loose all the issues and challenges we faced that day. Or we may put on our headphones and crank up the loudest heavy metal we can find and that’s where we find our peace. However we choose to pursue our solace, we find our own individual ways of doing so. But for those of you who can’t, don’t or won’t…there is an imbalance that your mind, body and soul are calling for.

Without balance in our lives, everything…everything is off kilter. Without balance, everything is just a little bit harder. But for many of us, this is the life we live and therefore living out of balance becomes our new “normal.” And that’s why when we suggest gaining balance through meditation, stillness, quiet time, people “don’t have time, don’t know how, or simply can’t do it.” Balance becomes foreign to you. And a life of imbalance becomes what’s “real.” But what if you could maintain a certain sense of balance? Then life becomes more steady. Stable. And you are poised to move evenly through life. THAT is the importance of finding solace. It helps keep you on track with what you desire to feel in the midst of what would normally knock you off balance. Solace becomes a ‘rock’ in the middle of a storm. Unmovable. Unphased. Steadfast.

Personally, meditation is my solace. Meditation does not have to be for hours on end at the top of some mountain. Meditation can be as simple as a deliberate interruption in the middle of your day for 2 mins of focused breathing. Simply stop. And breathe deeply for a couple of minutes. Focus on your inhale and exhale. Don’t rush it. Just breathe. And think about your breathing. Immediate solace. Immediate calm. Immediate focus is what happens. This allows you to regroup, to collect yourself, to reevaluate. Now imagine these feelings in the midst of a hectic workday. How valuable would that be? Yet, we often times ignore these possibilities because we are “too busy handling life,” as one of my friends told me. My response to her was, “life is too busy handling YOU.”

When I am in the midst of meditation, I feel comfort. I feel joy. I feel compassion. I feel grounded. I feel strong. I feel centered. I feel relief. I feel the coziness of laying in my mother’s arms as a child. I feel love. And here is the key…the more I practice this during the down times of my day, the more those same feelings project themselves in the midst of and throughout my day! Even when I am not in meditation. And because of this, my entire demeanor, my words, my thoughts, my actions are impacted by what is permeating throughout my spirit. My interactions are calm, leveled, balanced. The same goes for my thoughts and words. Peace becomes the norm. Happiness is genuine. And love abounds throughout it all. Whenever anything comes to disrupt what I have created for myself, it is an easy mental retreat to my soul where peace, balance and steadfastness reside. So I “touch home base” and then respond confidently, unshaken, unmoved and with peace.

Investing in your solace provides an ROI of being even keeled, balanced and solid. You will not be shaken or deterred. Finding your solace is finding your “happy place” as people have joked about. Finding your solace is finding that safe place where your confidence is restored, where clarity is pronounced and where comfort is freely given. Finding your solace is finding your peace of mind in the midst of WHATEVER is happening around you. Retreat to your solace. And emerge with the personal victories you desire.

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