Every Cycle is a Circle

  Have you ever thought about what you don’t think about? LOL…like breathing. We don’t consciously THINK about breathing, but it happens. And sometimes we think about the fact that we don’t think about breathing. Thank God we don’t HAVE to think about it constantly in order for it to happen. Otherwise, we may stop breathing altogether. LOL…but what about the things we do in everyday life? Do you actually think about driving to work everyday? Or does it simply happen without your conscious thought? For most of us, when we fall into a routine, it becomes less conscious work for us to complete the tasks associated with those routines. The same happens regarding our thought processes. And sometimes, those thought processes continue to play out in the realities of our lives over and over and over again. The cycles become circles.

We have heard or some of us have lived perpetual, destructive cycles. An extreme example is when children live with abuse in their homes. Sometimes they are destined to perpetuate that cycle of life into adulthood which hinders their relationships. Or on a more subtle level, you “know for a fact that come Monday, I’m going to go to work with a bad case of the ‘grumpies’ because that’s just the way it is.” Or we often times hear people say, or we say regarding other people, I/they are “stuck in their ways.” Well…exactly WHO made it that way? The larger question is, are you happy with who and where you are, by being “stuck in your ways” or would you prefer to be someone else?

While there are cycles of attitude, disposition and character, there are also cycles of circumstance. The great news is, ALL can be adjusted to fit your desire. Do you know of someone who is a perpetual victim? Perhaps a person who perpetually spends money and is always without? Someone who perpetuates drama in every relationship? Or on a happier note, do you know someone who has created a cycle of perpetual happiness? Cycles create circles.

We are designed and created to be in a constant state of growth and development. Our souls and our minds don’t stop growing like our bodies. Our souls and our minds operate in perpetual and infinite growth. Being “stuck in one’s ways,” is a choice. A very real choice that states, “I refuse to learn, grow, self-reflect, assess or be self-aware. I am just me and that’s where I stop.” And fyi, this goes against your authentic being. When we go against who we TRULY are, we do not find happiness. We find disgust, lack of fulfillment, unhappiness and frustration. Recognizing and making an effort to break a cycle you are in is imperative in being spiritually successful. AND it will create a space for personal happiness to grow. But how do we take the first steps to break our cycles? Three steps make it simple:

  1. Recognize the Cycle Exists – So often we are destined to continue or repeat our same cycles because we don’t recognize them as being cycles in the first place. They have become so familiar and expected, they become seemingly permanent residents in our psyche. When identifying a cycle, start at the end. The final result you don’t like. Then work your way backward through a string of events that lead to the ending. Do you recognize any patterns from this chain of actions with other or similar situations in your life? Then you’ve successfully identified behaviors that are leading you down a path you do not desire. (don’t judge yourself. only observe)
  2. Create Small Goals of Change – If what you’ve identified is an actual cycle or pattern of behavior, you can’t expect to break it overnight. It takes small, calculated, consciousness to begin to break down the walls of your cycle. For example, if you have recognized the cycle of the same argument you have with your spouse when he expresses a particular view on a subject that sends you into emotional orbit, first recognize the events that make it happen. Then, instead of being angry with him because of what he said, DECIDE that you will CHOOSE a different response. A different way to think about it, because you are aware it is happening. But the key is to be sure your response is authentic to YOU. Don’t simply say, “I’m just going to overlook that.” Or, “I’m not gonna let him get to me today.” These statements will only mask what you truly feel. Actually decide. You have identified the cycle. Now you are choosing to feel a different way about it. How? Acknowledge that he has a right to whatever HE chooses to feel, say or do. If what he is saying or doing is hurting you, then choose to be out of that situation. If not, then simply allow him to be in that space without ingesting and feeding your emotions about something you can not control. Practice this on a small scale. At work. At home. With your children, etc. until you begin to feel confident in identifying cycles and creating small changes within yourself to affect the outcome.
  3. Define What You Want and Who You Want to Be –  There is nothing actually “wrong” with the person you are right now this moment. But sometimes, we want to be “better” for us. Not for anyone else. We want to grow, prosper, be happy, etc. But many times, we don’t actually believe we can be that person. We set up excuses or we levy judgment, prosecution and sentencing against ourselves regarding who it is we are or can be. Release all of that. EVEN and ESPECIALLY if you are 100% content with yourself and who you are right now. Open yourself to ascending higher. Open yourself to discovering more happiness. Open yourself to a positively, almost unimaginable you with every aspect regarding your being that you desire. As soon as you define who you are and who you want to be, you have given you soul an ultimate objective. If I want to be a good spouse and I have identified a cycle of argument and debate, I have started taking small steps towards breaking the cycle by creating a broader understanding of who I am and where I want to go, and I have also defined the person I want to be…then I have successfully broken that cycle.

When we are unhappy with people, situations, circumstances, etc. we can usually define a pattern or cycle of behavior within ourselves that helps perpetuate that cycle of unhappiness. And since every cycle is a circle, we are destined to relive that same experience over and over again until we break it. Breaking cycles is a proactive process born from an awareness of the cycle, a desire to be/have better and an expectation of that desire to be fulfilled. A cycle is a circle of imprisonment. When we break the undesired cycles in our life experience, we are set free to map a new course to ANY destination we desire.

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